A cHiLd (tinyearthgodess) wrote,
A cHiLd
tinyearthgodess

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ugh

so i woke up at 7 cuz my sister called the house phone, and i dont have my cell or an alarm clock at home so i couldnt go back to sleep cuz i have to be up by 930 to work at 10 and after being woken up if i go back to sleep i have to sleep for at least 2 hours but its hard to wake up regardless... so i'm up and ive been up and i have nothing to do...so LJ entry.....the summer is almost here, 2nd semester ends wed and my exams are both on tuesday the 10th and then im free (not really cuz i need to work my ass off and make some money)..... friday is prom which should be alright, i wish i could embrace the attleboro high scene a little more but eveyone sucks so much, d n i are goin to this party afterwards in which i have very bad feelings about, over 30 AHS lameos getting drunk in north kingston, not only am i going to be trapped an hour away from home but with people i dont like at least 3 i bet will get alch poisioning and an ambulance will get called or cops are gunna go and stop the retards from fighting and puking in the front lawn and yea, were sleping there? or not sleeping? and then making an attempt at going to a concert the next night, i dunno it all makes me a lil ehh, and i know for a fact, even if the party stays decently under control, dimitri is gunna be too busy paying attention to everyone else and i'll be sitting drunk in some smoking section (probably outside) alone the whole after even not to mention at the prom, i'll probably dance around the floor with steph while dimitri walks around the tables talkin to his boys and flirting with his girls, i dunno im real uneasy about the whole even the closer it gets to its actual happning. i guess its just since i had such a shitty time at my prom last year not to mention the no so great after parties taht ensued both mine and dimitris proms last year...... well whatever im sure i'll post with how it goes... on a lighter note, i got d n i tickets to see sox yankees at yankee stadium the end of may and im getting a hotel room for the night so it'll be a lil semi romantic get-away filled with beer and baseball and jeers from yankees fans, it should be a good time im excited except ive already put myself into 350$ debt on my credit card for the tickets and hotel and my shoes and purse for prom.......back to the school thing, like i said im not doin that hot this semester, i can't take anything seriously, its still all just a joke to me its still high school its still 8th grade even though its not, but i just cant get any sort of drive going, hopefully i can improve on that next semester, but hers how it is, death and immortality, im failing straight up i have an F first time ive ever failed a class, all through my schooling thus far, my lowest grade was a c+ in bio freshman year, ive never gotten below a C+! and now since i think its still high school and i can fuck off and do no work, i shock myself with a grade that should be no surprize because it is a perfect refelction of my attitude. drawing, i have one last one due wed and we've had a month to do it and i still havnt started it i left all my drawing supplies at school and monday i commited myself to beer pong so that leaves me with tuesday night from 7-11 to do a drawing that ive had over 4 weeks to do....and ya know what my attitude is telling me fuck it just dont do it, and i cant decide if im gunna even try, ive defeated myself..... i also have to make up a shit load of classes for my sculpt and strech class, i cant let myself fail a class that involves sitting on a mat and touching my toes just cuz i couldnt get my ass to show up...i dunno im a mess and im getting more and more poor as the days go by, i currently have 60$ in my bank account, a 70$ phone bill to pay and like i said 350 to pay off my credit card, its gunna cost me 700$ to reg my car again and to insure it and i only have 60$ in my bank account :/ i dunno im doing really shit at this whole life thing, living is over rated, life IS dukkah
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